It was Becky's idea that I start this blog. She thinks it'll do me 'good to purge by writing down my antics.' These are her words, not mine, I personally don't refer to my, admittedly rather ludicrous sometimes, life as a series of antics. As she says: "Tomato, tomayto..." Obviously I fell for her blatant blog advertising, and started this. Unfortunately I hadn't thought about it being the end of the year - crammed with deadlines, last-minute rushing, the dreaded Christmas shopping and the large number of Christmas dos. So I'm not going to be one of those six-times-a-day bloggers. Not now, at least.
So, I kicked Noel out six months ago, he left unwillingly, and it was a shitty time of incessant e-mails, phonecalls, text messages, begging forgiveness, swearing allegiance to me, vowing it was a once off. I nearly crumbled a couple of times in that first month. Okay, truthfully, I DID crumble once, in early June. He convinced me to have dinner with him and took me out to one of my favourite restaurants where he ploughed me with alcohol and then took advantage of me in the car on the way home. Not my fault, of course, that I have a thing for sex in a car. It makes me feel like a teenager.
It felt familiar, good (he was always good with his hands), and safe, and I remembered how much I loved him and almost let him back in (that's what drinking a bottle of Diemersfontein Pinotage almost on your own will do.) Serendipitously, as we pulled into my driveway, Peroxide Slut from next door pulled into hers too, sobering me up instantly and reminding me that I am not, actually, such a fool. I kissed him chastely on the cheek and told him to go home and stop contacting me.
He tried a couple of times more, but I ignored his calls and messages and he's stopped now. Sometimes I still wonder if I did the right thing, after seeing what's out there! My friends say I did, as do my family and I know, too, deep down that it was right, is right. Hear me convincing myself?
Okay, that's the Boyfriend Backstory, it's all old news now. I guess I need to introduce you to all the characters who'll be around. You've met Becky - soulmate, best friend, keeper of all secrets. She's married to Mike, her high school sweetheart and has two children - Sarah, 5, my goddaughter, and Julia, 3. They're a happy little family of storybook proportions, a far cry from Becky's upbringing, which was chequered, to say the least, with a mother who was far too fond of vodka martinis. No time was too early for her.
Oh dear, I must run - deadline looming, Christmas party tonight at an old varsity friend's house - egg nog and turkey promised on the invitation. I LOVE egg nog. It makes me do silly things. Watch this space. More characters to follow.